Tuesday, June 26, 2007

People I Wouldn't Do...

Yea that's right. I'm about to go there.

I thought up the subject to talk about a few weeks back. Thought it would be a fun (for me at least...nobody really cares about you...) ongoing topic (OK I lied...I care) where as hoors (yes I'm going with that spelling) got uglier and more anyong (Hello!), I could add them to the list. I've already got a small backlog to get us started. Some would say they're pretty obvious. I'm going to go ahead and put them up here. Hopefully with all the typing, my boss will think I'm hard at work. (Sucker!)

Contestant No. 1. ...and it pains me that I'm actually going to post her pic since this is one of the people I would like to punch in the face (ever play that game? it's fun...)...well that and the fact that I told myself I would never give this whore any attention on this space, but I might have to make an exception for this subject and today since she got out of jail.

I think this pic is a vast improvement. No caked on makeup. No fake blue contacts (usually, I'm not opposed to those). Hell, she even looks sober..

Still, I wouldn't hit that with your dick. (Remember, how I said I care? They're you go...) Rumor is she's got herpes. (That shit's like luggage. You keep it forever...(thanks Eddie!) Ugh. Moving on...

Second Suitor (heheh you're right Brodie, that does sounds like bathroom code..)

I'm being kind posting this pic of you, cause it's been a steep decline ever since then. You're old (shit you're not even 21, yet you look like you've been rode hard and put away wet...gawd I love that phrase.) and busted now. I swear I wouldn't have anything to do with you, even though I hear you shag like a minx (say that last bit with an Austin Powers accent. It will make sense...if you've seen the move. Otherwise, you're screwed)

Go away. You peaked at 17. You're on a bit of an upswing lately in the looks department...but you're still a coked out hoor. Fuck off you nasty wanka! (sometimes...in my dreams I secretly wish I was British....just cause they're insults sound funny.)

Oh yea, now I remember who my 3rd person is. Gawd how far she's fallen. She's not even a slump buster anymore. She's fallen below that.

(editor's note...Hey, That's Me!)I couldn't bring myself to post any of the ugo pics cause quite frankly they tend to haunt my dreams, so I prefer to remember the good times...the happy times.

Funny thing... I know Christina Aguilera went through an uggo phase (it was slightly after her "dirrty phase"...and if I had this blog a few years back, she probably would of been on it. But she's rebounded quite nicely and apparently has her shit together. I'd post her pic, but she really should get her own post.
Honest to god, people say, "yea, but if you had the chance, you'd still do her". Even drunk, I'm pretty sure I would have the wherewith all to Just Say No! I'm not lying. I wouldn't touch them with your dick (damn that's twice I used that phrase in this post...oh well, maybe I'll think of another adjective later on).

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