Transformers 2 F.A.Q.s!

I wouldn't read this post unless you've already seen the movie. Some spoilers here.

You've been warned.

If you don't care to see the movie, you should still also read this. It's a good laugh.

Shamelessly stolen from Topless Robot.

*************************************************************************** It dawned on me at about 4am last night when I was finishing my review that 2500 words might not be enough to fully describe the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen experience. Additionally, I really didn't get much into the plot, as I was so busy explaining why it was a fundamentally shitty movie. So I took a little time to interview myself about the movie's story in order to help you understand what RotF is all about. Hope it helps!

Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie? I have no fucking clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.

What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film? The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.

What? Yeah. The Decepticons aren't apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their goddamn lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It's kind of weird.

Why is the U.S. military helping them? Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job.

How does the U.S. military help them? Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they're going to help, but the Autobots do all the work.

Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then? Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film's 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever.

How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight? Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.

So the Decepticons want the shard? Why? Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?

What? That's what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie. Yes. ...

and now it can also bring him back to life. It's very powerful, this Allspark.

Uh-huh. So what's their plan to get it? They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it.

Shouldn't they have sent Starscream or somebody? Look, there's another Allspark shard and get that one anyways, so it doesn't matter.

Well, then why do they give a shit about Sam? The symbols. In his head. That the shard of the Allspark gave him.

They weren't in the other shard? Apparently not.

So how do the Decepticons plan to get the symbols, I guess? Well, the Decepticons have very cunningly created a hot chick robot who they enrolled in the same college and put in the same astronomy class as Sam. And they made her a huge slut.

Wait. Waiting.

There's a slutty Decepticon? Yeah, she's a real ho. The Decepticons apparently have an incredibly powerful slut-making program, because she has it down, man. Anyways--

Didn't Sam touch the shard and get the symbols stuck in his head on his first day of college? Yes. So the Decepticons made a slutty robot to attend his college and enrolled her in classes and put her in on-campus housing just in case Sam ended up being important at some point in the future? Apparently. It was an elaborate plan, but it sure paid off.

How so? Well, not at all. The slut-bot made out with him for a little bit then immediately tried to kill him, neither for any apparent motive or gain.

It sounds preposterous. Doesn't matter, because the Decepticons use the shard piece they do have to resurrect Megatron! He's back! Ooo! Scary!

Why is this scary? All he wanted was the Allspark, and now it's gone. ...because he has a boss! He's called the Fallen, because he's so evil! He has an evil plan to use a machine on Earth to blow up the sun and make energon! Or something! It's not very clear.

Now you're just making shit up as you go along, aren't you? Best not to think too much about it. Anyways, the symbols in the Beef's head are a map to where this machine exists, so the hunt is on and Sam shortly is captured by other, less slutty Decepticons in one of the many instances where Bumblebee inexplicably abandons the Beef so he can conveniently be in trouble. Then a robot called the Doctor who speaks gibberish with a German accent shoves things up Shia's nose and gets the symbols.

That's that, then, right? The Decepticons win? No! Because Optimus Prime saves Sam before they cut off his head, which has another treasure inside!

Really? What is that? No one really bothers to explain this, actually. Suffice to say, the Decepticons continue to want Sam. Oh, then Optimus Prime fights three Decepticons at once and dies.

Where the hell were the other Autobots during this fight? I don't know. They were with him before the fight, but then they disappear and show up right after he dies. But they appear sad about Optimus dying. Marginally. I mean, they don't get any screen time or dialogue to convey any feelings or anything, but there's some sad music playing for a little bit afterwards. I assume this means the robots that are off-screen are grieving.

Well, if one shard brought Megatron back to life, can't Sam just use his shard piece to resurrect Optimus? Yes. He could. ... ...

Well? He doesn't.

Why not? I'm not sure exactly.

Then what the hell does he do? He decides get those symbols that were in his head translated to figure out what the Fallen's up to.

Which Autobot does the translating? Err... none of them. Actually, it's John Turturro.

What. The fuck. Yeah, since he was laid off from his super-secret government agent job, he now works in a NY deli and runs a super-popular Transformers conspiracy theory website. Like ya do.

And why couldn't an Autobot translate these symbols? Because Bumblebee is mute and the Racist Twins are poor black robots from the slums of Cybertron who never learned how to read. It's a sad commentary on Cybertronian society. Like The Wire, actually.

Where the hell are the other Autobots? I don't know. Away. They seem to be unable to be reached. They're probably grieving about Optimnus still. Clearly, John Turturro is the reasonable solution here.

So Turturro translates the symbols. No, that would be silly. He does, in an incredibly bizarre series of connect-the-dots, lead them to Jetfire, an elderly and deceased Transformers whose corpse is hanging out in the Air & Space Museum.

What good is he dead?! Ah! Remember the shard? Sam uses it to bring Jetfire back to life!

Not Optimus? No! This way, Sam can get the symbols translated... so he can, er... find the ancient machine... that can, uh... possibly bring Optimus back to life.

You have to fucking be kidding me. Moving on! Jetfire teleports everyone to Egypt, including some of the missing Autobots --

Wait, what? Teleports? Yes, teleports.

Transformers don't teleport. Jetfire does.

But -- wait a second, he's a fucking jet. He could fly everybody to Egypt, right? And that would make perfect sense for both the character and the franchise! Well, I guess so. But he chooses not to. The point is Jetfire teleports them all to Egypt where he explains that there used to be 7 or 8 Primes, and they traveled around the galaxy blowing up suns for energon. But they never did it on planets with life. Well, they had set the machine up on Earth and not noticed all the life running around, and one of the Primes just said fuck it, let's do it anyways. This was evil, so they called that Prime the Fallen and beat the shit out of him although he escaped.

Okay... So that other mysterious reason that the Decepticons wanted Sam's brain? It's because it contains some very vague clues about the Matrix of Leacdership, which is the device that turns on the sun-exploding machine. The Fallen needs the Matrix to blow up the sun and get his Energon.

Hold on. That's what the Matrix of Leadership does in the movie? Yes. Works the sun-exploding machine.

I'm fuzzy on how "Leadership" covers that. I didn't name it. But it does sound a little nicer than "Matrix of Blowing Up the Goddamn Sun." If I may continue, in order to protect the Earth, the 6-7 other Prime hid the Matrix on Earth and made a tomb with their own bodies. Isn't that cool? ... ...

No. No it is not. If they wanted to protect Earth, why did they leave the Matrix on the planet? They're a space-faring race, they could have hid it anywhere in galaxy! Second of all, what the fuck does making a tomb of their own bodies do? Shouldn't they have stayed alive to protect the Matrix? Or finish off the Fallen? Or just not die and leave Earth and the entire Transformer race in jeopardy? Uh... And why hide the Matrix at all? Don't they need Energon to survive? Didn't they say they go to other lifeless planets? These idiot Primes just doomed their whole species for no fucking reason whatsoever! No wonder the Decepticons are so pissed. ...ahem. Eventually, Sam and crew find the Matrix, which instantly crumbles into dust. Sam puts the dust in a sock because he thinks it will bring Optimus back to life.

Grr. What follows is the most spectacular part of the movie, as Sam and Mikaela try to run the several miles back to the military camp during a massive Decepticon attack where the military has dropped Optimus Prime's corpse.

Why is that awesome? They could drive back in one of the Autobots and be there in a minute or two. They don't do that.

What? They walk.

Of course they do. And I assume the Autobots just mysteriously disappear again until a second before a Decepticon is about to kill Sam. Yes. Exactly.

I am already incredibly sick of this movie, and I'm just typing questions about it. Sam resurrects Optimus, Optimus kills the Fallen, end of story, right? Pretty close. Sam dies, though.

Really? Yeah, for a little while. But then the Transformers in heaven send him back because he still has work to do.

Fuck you. I'm serious.

Fuck you. There's no way. It's true. The 6-7 Primes are there in the clouds like Mufasa's head in The Lion King, and tell Sam he's awesome and he needs to live again so he can bring Optimus back to life.

I may be ill. Then Jetfire appears out of nowhere and rips out his own heart right in front of Optimus to give him his elderly old robot powers. This makes Optimus into a flying badass who defeats the Megatron and Starscream and the Fallen in a little less than two minutes. After the last 30 minutes of the movie have been nothing but explosions -- not all of which have any obvious causes -- it's a bit disappointing.

Anything else you want to add? Well, only that although Sam jams the Matrix of Leadership into Optimus Prime's chest to resurrect him, a Decepticon takes it out like 10 seconds later and Optimus is fine. Just a little weird, is all.

Can you give me any reason I would want to see this film in theaters? I can't answer every question, man.

BONUS ROUND! So it's not as bad as shitting your pants? Marginally. I honestly had to make a pro and con list to figure it out.

Why on earth would anyone make a film about giant robots but have myriad scenes of some random douchebag's first day of college? I don't have the faintest clue.

Could there have been more trite, less inspired song for Bumblebee to play when Sam says he's going to college than The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"? No. No there couldn't.

Why can't Bumblebee talk, but the other Autobots can? Because Bumblebee is retarded, but in a Sling Blade kind of a way. This explains how he kills the living fuck out of a Decepticon later.

Why does Sam's mom buy and consume a pot brownie? Well, Sam's mom was in a coma for the last 30+ years, which explains how she had never heard of marijuana, and why she didn't understand the consequences of eating it even after her husband specifically told her it was a pot brownie (Sam was unfortunately conceived and born during this period). A better question is why any college student in America would be selling pot brownies at an on-campus bake sale, let alone to a middle-aged woman.

A lot was made of how Shia the Beef's hand injury was written into the film. How was this done? Well, sometimes Shia had a huge bandage on his hand, and sometimes he didn't.

That doesn't sound "written in" at all. Well, no actual words are used to explain it. It might be more accurate to say it "shows up sometimes."

Why would a robot need to fart, pee, or vomit? And why would it need testicles? Michael Bay does not understand what a robot is.

What is the point of the character of Sam's college roommate, and why the fuck does he stay for the entirety of the movie? I have no clue. He's not comedy relief, because that's covered by 90% of the Transformers themselves. He technically leads the Beef to John Turturro, but surely there could have been another way to do that. Besides, Turturro just leads them to Jetfire anyways. It's all extraneous.

Why can only a Prime kill the Fallen? Why can Jetfire teleport? Why can the Fallen wave a staff and make shit fly around? Why do actual cars and Autobots get sucked into Devastator's maw, but John Turturro and that other kid can run around? Because... because FUCK YOU, that's why.

Can you explain Megan Fox's appeal? Yes. She looks like a porn star and has the same acting talent as one, yet for some reason she makes mainstream movies. This tonal disconnect is what's so appealing about her.

If you had to pick a single scene that exemplifies Michael Bay's utter disdain for story and continuity, what would it be? When five Decepticons sink to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve Megatron's corpse. A submarine tracks five "subjects" going down, and when they get there, one of the Decepticons is killed to give parts to Megatron. 5 -1 +1 = 5, right? No, because the sub somehow tracks "six" subjects coming up. Not only is this very basic math, this is the simplest of script errors. It could not possibly have been more than one page apart in the script. And yet Michael Bay either didn't care to notice or didn't give a fuck. "Math? Math is for pussies. My movies are about shit blowing up, man."

Could you sum up the film in one line of its dialogue? "I am standing directly beneath the enemy's scrotum."

The New Inglorious Bastards Trailer

....cause all I seem to do lately is post videos. Might as well keep it going. Maybe I'll be able to squeeze an actual blog post out one of these days.

Killin' Nassi's

I'm sooooo fucking there. August can't get here soon enough.

World’s Greatest Dad

A Robin Williams movie worth watching? This looks promising.

Oh, and check out who wrote and directed the movie.

I'm there.

...and I bet you thought this was a Father's Day Post. HA! Sucker.
(Although my dad is a Robin Williams fan, so there's a bit of...irony? I think means something.

Another Childhood Classic Makes It Home

It came in the mail today. I'm super pumped.

Now, if the Gods that determine which movies get put on DVD would release RAD, along with the M.A.S.K. cartoons, I may finally be complete.

Garbage Pail Kids - Check
Soul Man - Check

3 Things that Freaked Me Out As a Kid

1. Elephants on Parade - When the mouse and Dumbo get drunk and then the weird shit happens. As a kid, that shit fucks you up.



2. The part in Pinocchio where they're in Pleasure Island and all the boys are being turned into donkeys.



That was scary...and a bit fucked up for a children's cartoon.


3. In an episode of G.I. Joe (the cartoon) called “There’s No Place Like Springfield", Shipwreck is in a simulated future (of course fabricated by Cobra) where everybody around him melts and his family tries to kill him. The oddest episode I've ever seen and arguably the most fucked up. IT really had more of an impact than I thought at the time.

Here's a small clip of the episode. I wish I could find the whole thing. Add it to my "To Be Torrented" list.



It wasn't until my AutoCAD class in college, where I happened to overehear some guys behind me talk about the episode, that finally reminded me of this episode and put all the pieces of it together (name of the character, what's the plot of the episode, etc)

By the way, this episode makes the list of at this blog, The 10 Most Insane, Child-Warping Moments of ’80s Cartoons

Terminator Salvation

This is a kick ass trailer for the new Terminator. I know you're skeptical, but watch it anyway.



Even if the movie sucks, that trailer kicks much ass. I really need to listen to more NIN.

May 21...hell yes.

Adventurland

The follow up to Superbad. It's the redband trailer...so you know, naughty words...and all that.



Sold.

It doesn't appear that Judd Apatow is attached in anyway, but will still see how many of his "crew" shows up.

Let me go on, as I blister in the sun....

Inglourious Basterds

Hell.Fucking.Yes.

August 21 can't come soon enough.

Rocknrolla

You need to see this if you liked Lock Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels and Snatch. It's another good British Crime Thriller. It's also pretty freaking funny.

Also, from the movie, comes this song, Rock and Roll Queen from The Subways. It's featured pretty prominently in the movie, and in the trailers (which oddly enough, I haven't seen in a while). Anyways, here's the video I found on Youtube. I'm off to go look for the entire album. Not sure if I go with the movie soundtrack, or their album.





After a little research, it turns out I have this song already. Twice in fact, once from The O.C. Mix 5 and the other one is from an Ultimate fan made O.C. mix. Ooops. I still may have to get their albums anyway.

Quantum of Solace Trailer # 2

This is shaping up to be just as bad ass as Casino Royale.

November can't get here soon enough.

Still think the name's kinda dumb though, although it is growing on me.

Tropic Thunder

Above is the fake commercial before the fake movie trailers that are apart of the real movie. I lost it when this came on. Totally set the tone for a very funny movie. Definetly recommended. Robert Downey Jr is hilarious and steals the show as a black man. I really need to watch it again with some close captioning on so I can catch everything he says.

Hope Starting to Fade

I was pretty excited to see this movie, and I probably still will, but thanks to Film Drunk and Valley Wag I've read AICN's (gawd I hate that site) a.k.a Harry Knowle's review of the new Star Wars The Clone Wars Movie. Usually I don't put much stock into this site and it's opinions, but this guy is a die hard SW lover, so if even he hates it, I'm starting to think twice about it. Lucasfilm made them take the negative review down.

Here it is. Careful, I'm not sure all of it is English.

Hi, Guys…
by TheRealMoriarty Aug 11th, 2008
04:25:38 AM
… to those asking, I’ll try a new tact in this thread. Harry took his CLONE WARS review down at the request of Lucasfilm, who have chosen to enforce an embargo on reviews on our site. There may, in fact, be other outlets who have reviews up currently. That is not something we can control. Harry will repost his same review when he is able to. I hope that explains it, but if you have further questions, I’ll try answer them. I’d really rather this talkback were about the great Bernie Brillstein, though.”

Here’s the original review:

“Harry hated THE CLONE WARS!

I’ve never hated a STAR WARS film before. I have weathered Jar Jar and any number of Ewoks. I survived Hayden and a wooden Portman. I even accepted Jake Lloyd. I handled all that because it felt like STAR WARS.

I can accept all of Lucas’ flaws, so long as at its heart it felt like Star Wars. I can deal with politics in Star Wars. I can deal with trade skirmishes in Star Wars. I can deal with musical numbers, breathing in the vacuum of space. Basically – so long as it feels like STAR WARS – I can watch any of it.

Was I looking forward to STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS (2008)?

******** A!

I was dying. After Genndy’s CLONE WARS – I felt that perhaps Lucas “got it” – and that this new animated series was taking a lead from Tartakovsky’s brilliant assembly of pieces. Genndy’s CLONE WARS got STAR WARS better than anyone has got it since Lawrence Kasdan and Irvin Kershner. Genndy took designs and characters that folks were dissatisfied with and made them cool. He did this by using and adapting the themes created by John Williams, the wholly perfect entity involved with Star Wars along with… the sound effects of Ben Burtt. He understood speed and motion – not just with action, but in editing. He understood classic film composition and iconography. And he knows what BADASS is.

The folks behind this STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS movie… you could tell, they looked at what Genndy did – but they didn’t understand any of it. There’s a ****load of battles and ***** going boom. There’s noise everywhere – fury everywhere… but none of it is directed. The music by Kevin Kiner is criminally bad. Why they didn’t employ Paul Dinletir and James Venable is beyond me. No, no – let’s hire the composer of WALKER, TEXAS RANGER. Ahem.

Now – I made excuses for this film as I was watching it. I don’t think you understand how much I love STAR WARS. Maybe you do, maybe you do too.

Before the movie started I was firing myself up to go out after the film and buy that new $200 Hasbro Millenium Falcon. I really wanted to go buy it, and I wanted this movie to empower my brain to go through with that. Instead, I found myself at home – putting on Genndy’s THE CLONE WARS – to try and rebuild my passion – so I can go get that new Falcon.

Instead – I’m thinking I’ll just be here at home enjoying this and that’ll be all I need.

Anyway – as I was watching the film, I was excusing the sloppy shots, the sloppy use of the Clone Troopers and Droids – undoing all the awesome work that Genndy had done – and the droids are silly again. The Clone Troopers are limp. And the Jedi – they’re at 25% power from the mind of Genndy. But I was accepting that. I figured that was Lucas dialing back so that the animated series wouldn’t overpower his features.

Then they introduced Baby Jabba aka Rotta the Huttlet aka Stinky. At the point of this character’s introduction – it officially became, the worst character in the history of STAR WARS. If you hate George Lucas cutsiepoo bull**** – oooooooh boy. You’re gonna have a field day of venting and hatred directed at this unbelievably ****ing awful little ****.

Oh – but wait… Little Stinky the Hutt isn’t the worst character in the history of STAR WARS… because Stinky got introduced earlier in the film. As much as I hated lil Stinky… I was weathering Stinky. I seriously was. But later there was a character of such immense **** – offensively bad. The character was so bad, so incredibly awful – that it was a slap to the face. It woke me out of my ****-accepting stupor and made me angry. SUDDENLY my “inner fanboy rage” was awoken.

As I watched this terrifyingly awful character named Ziro the Hutt. A seemingly female Hutt – with tattoos and make-up that sounds like a racist take on a Black New Orleans Crack-Dealing Whore. Because this Hutt speaks ENGLISH – and it is many times worse than I’m actually describing. This character was actually too much for me. So bad that every flaw I was looking past, was now a road sign to inadequacy and mediocrity. All of a sudden my brain realized that Asajj Ventress’ voice no longer was acceptable – and sure enough – the amazing Grey DeLisle, who originally voiced the character back in 2003 – had been replaced by a Nika Futterman – and that voice was missed. The character didn’t have that snarling menace anymore.

I realized that nothing in this animated film felt right. I felt time expanding. It seemed that the film was dragging – nevermind that lots of **** was firing all over the place – and stuff was going boom and things were being revealed. I just didn’t care because this wasn’t what I wanted.

I hated the score, the animation, the shots, the characters and most of all the retarded ******** idiot story.

I hated the film. HATED IT. REALLY HATED IT.

Does this mean the whole Star Wars Animated Series is doomed? No – but it isn’t a good sign. So much of this is awful because of the Hutt plotlines and character. I also feel that Dave Filoni must be a hack. His work here is sloppy – and depending on writers and directing talent – individual episodes may be better. This film was several episodes all strung together – my prayer is that the individual episodes will be both great and awful – and we’ll discover which talents are responsible for each.

That said – the audience did have light applause. My father liked it. My sister felt too much was going on. Me nephew really liked it. That said – Yoko was complaining right along with me. She thought it was **** too. I know Moriarty liked it. Wonder what Quint and Massawyrm thought.

****. I hated a STAR WARS. That ****ing sucks.”

Pineapple Express

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Above is the redband trailer.

Saw it yesterday. It's basically a stoner action (action? really? Yes really.) movie.

It ended up being a pretty funny movie. I think it would of been better stoned, but maybe that's for another viewing... or for somebody who actually smokes. Yea, that's it. :)

Actually, after seeing the movie, then seeing the ads for it on tv this weekend, I think this is the type of movie that will get better the more you see it. I was rolling at some, squash that, ALL of the ads on tv that I saw. Some really funny stuff.

I don't know where I would rank it in the list of Apatow movies. I've got to watch it again to get a better idea.

Wall*E

Finally got to watching Wall-E (which spelling do you like better: all together, space, hyphen or a asterisk?).

I really liked the movie. Thought it was cute as hell, and you could really feel the emotions of Wall E. Seems Pixar has hit another homerun, story is great. Animation is amazing. I'm sure it will make a ton of money at the box office, and even more with dvd/blu sales, but I don't think this one will be the megablockbuster (hello hyphen?), Best Pixar Evar! (hello hyperbole...and yes spelling is correct) many were predicting it to be. By "many" I mean the interweb nerds (yours truly not included) that like to do shit like that.

Cool video of a real life Wall-E (aka a robot version....settle down Joey).

The Dark Knight

Warning. Post may (WILL) have spoilers. Normally I wouldn't mind spoiling a movie for you, but this one rocks way too much to do that.

Go See it cause it's fucking awesome. Easily in contention for the best movie I'm going to see this year (I'm holding out hope for Quantum of Solace). Completely lives up to the hype that was built of the amazing Batman Begins. Delivers on every aspect. The action is awesome. Dialogue is witty. The story rocks. You know it's good when the movie is not over and your friend says "this may be the best movie I've ever seen". I'm not sure exactly where it would land on the list, but damn if it doesn't automatically make the 10 easily.

It's hard to decide what my favorite part was. Ledger is amazing. You can't even tell it's him under the makeup. He completely reinvents the Joker character and out does Jack Nicholson. Soo many great scenes with him in it. The pencil trick is fucking genius and is probably my favorite. The scene leaving the hospital (you'll know what I'm talking about) is very funny.

Bale is rock solid and is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors. He's great in everything he does. Looking forward to seeing him as John Connor. Michael Cain and Morgan Freeman are solid as expected. Gary Oldman is fantastic and Gordon...wish he would of had more screen time.

Aaron Eckhart will probably be overshadowed by Ledger and all the hype because of his death, but I think he really knocked it out of the park. I hope 2 Face isn't dead (I think they left an out at the end) but I think he will be. He's served his purpose in the movie.

I know Nolan isn't signed on for another movie, but I've read that he'll more than likely be back (with a bit of a pay raise I would think). I'm extremely anxious to see where they go with the 3rd one.

M. Night Shama.....'s The Happening

"I see dead people"

I won't spoil it for you (although I should), but the only reason you need to see this is if you like to see gruesome deaths (yea, like the lawnmower scene in the trailer), love Zoey D (damn she's got some great eyes)....or have a Marky Mark infatuation.

Even then, see the matinee. Don't pay full price for it.

I'm finally on board with the "M. Night has lost it" crowd.

P.S. I was giving him a chance even though I never saw Lady in the Water (it's on the DVR...just haven't been in the mood (no...that's not what she said)) He's lost his "goodwill" where you'd go see his movie based on his name/rep alone. In the past, he could get me interested in his movies based on name alone. 6th Sense was awesome, Unbreakable is pretty underrated. Signs is pretty good, but not as great as everyone makes it out to be. After that, the decent into mediocrity picks up, although I don't think that The Village wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be.

New Indy Jones Trailer

Get it while it lasts. The YouTube version was pulled within 3 hours.

The Dark Knight: Final Trailer

Ok quality bootleg up on youtube. Gonna be attached to the Iron Man movie that comes out this weekend. Get it while it's still up.

Damn this movie is gonna rock.

Edited: Found the file...saved it and then uploaded it again. Let's see if this works.

Drillbit Taylor

One of the perks with my new hours is that I get to do stuff during the day...something pretty foreign to me as I'm usually at work. Well I decided to catch up on a movie I've wanted to see but haven't gotten around to it.



Funny little thing about seeing a movie at 12PM on a weekday (not summer), you're the only one in there. It's actually kinda odd. Not sure if they were expecting anyone at that time, since their machine was down. If I would of played my cards right, I could of gotten in for free....but the dumbass in me said I had a card and they were able to swipe it. EFFFF!


Gotta say I enjoyed it. Some really funny parts. I plan to torture/harass somebody the way they did it in the movie.Best way to describe the movie would be sort of like a Superbad lite. Funny little movie, with Owen Wilson being the worst part. I found him kind of Anyong (Hello!). The short fat kid was funny. He's like a younger version of Jonah Hill....except from the east coast...like maybe brooklyn, except not.



P.S. I'd put up a picture or poster of this movie on this post, but they all suck...so no dice.

New Summer Movie Trailers

Works a little slow this morning (just like your mom) so I 've been able to check out some new movie trailers. If you haven't seen the new Indiana Jones trailer, than you must already dead.

First up, Iron Man

Iron Man Exclusive Trailer

Add to My Profile More Videos

It looks like alot of fun. Unless reviews totally trash it, add it to the list.

Second would be The Love Guru, a new one by Mike Myers.



I'm a little iffy on this one even though I've been wondering what he's been up to. It's kinda funny and might have some potential, but I might need to see another trailer and some reviews to make a final decision.