Something to Tide You Over With

(There's a pun in my post title....I'll let you find it)

Saw this on my daily message board readings, figured it was good enough to post on here (Shut the fuck up. Yes, I have standards) and share with the 3 people who read this.

Gump 4 Heisman

The post from 8-22 is particularly funny, and ALL of the reasons are spot on from 10 to 1.

Things To Look Forward To This College Football Season

I've also made me realise that next to Hef, Herbie may be the luckiest man on the face of the planet.

Discovered a New Site

...for you to waste your time on it. It involves reading though (I know that excludes like 3/4 of you who are just here for the pictures.

The Foggy Monocle seems to be a site where people post their instant messanger conversations. Found the site thanks to Film Drunk. Anyways, here's the conversation.

B

atGirl: OMG OMG OMG, i’m so glad you’re back in town
CatWoman: me too! what have you been doing without me?
BatGirl: oh wow. what a loaded question.
BatGirl: so, that guy
BatGirl: the friend of the friend, with the creepy moustache?
CatWoman: yeah? the one you met at Anton’s* place?
BatGirl: hahahahaha. yes. vladimer*.
BatGirl: so, he finally got the balls to ask me out on a proper date
CatWoman: way to finally man up..
BatGirl: and, seeing as my love life has been lackluster of late, to say the least
BatGirl: i agreed.
CatWoman: what did he plan for you kids?
BatGirl: we went to see the dark knight.
CatWoman: typical… blahhhhh
BatGirl: christian bale….heath ledger…i could think of worst things
BatGirl: followed by drinks and lively conversation
BatGirl: and more drinks
BatGirl: i believe irish car bombs were involved. which never lead to good decisions.
CatWoman: they call it a bomb for a reason
BatGirl: oh god yeah they do
BatGirl: so, a few dozen drinks later
BatGirl: and going back to vladimer’s place doesn’t seem like a bad idea
BatGirl: creepy moustache and all
CatWoman: did it tickle?
BatGirl: yes.

BatGirl: now, i should preempt the following segment of the story by saying that he really loved the dark knight.
BatGirl: like, REALLY loved the dark knight.
CatWoman: yeah, most people do
BatGirl: i thought nothing of it, i enjoy a good comic book movie like the next gal
CatWoman: word
BatGirl: but, his apartment may or may not have been a shrine to Marvel
BatGirl: which i only vaguely remember due to aforementioned bombs.
CatWoman: oh dear…
BatGirl: so, things get going. you know i’m not shy in these matters
BatGirl: at some point, i JOKINGLY reference batman, or something of that nature
BatGirl: which really got him going. this should have been a warning signal.
BatGirl: at this point, things took a terrible turn….let’s just say a mask was involved (which I wore), and a cape (which he wore)
CatWoman: holy car bombs, batman!
BatGirl: hahahahaha
CatWoman: wait, was there spandex involved in this “game”?
BatGirl: oh god. i don’t even know if i want to keep talking about it.
CatWoman: what’s the scenario here?
BatGirl: now you’re just being crass.
CatWoman: i HAVE to know now…
BatGirl: a batlady doesn’t tell
BatGirl: hold on, gotta open the door downstairs for someone.
CatWoman: noooooooooooooooo…
CatWoman: you can’t keep me in suspense like this
BatGirl: hahahahaha, that’s appropriate given the situation
BatGirl: so, it was basically comic-con 08
BatGirl: comic-cum 08, maybe.
BatGirl: jesus, did i just say that?
BatGirl: i’m so ashamed.
CatWoman: Dayam!
CatWoman: so does that mean there’s going to be date numero dos in the future?
BatGirl: yeah, when gotham city freezes over
CatWoman: Oh

Which, after reading this, makes me ponder the idea of growing a mustache. Not a weak as 'stache like Pedro from Napolean, but like a full blown porn 'stache like Mark Spitz or something. (Weird reference I know, but I'm on Olympics withdrawl)

Enjoy the site.

Scouraging the internets....so you don't have to.

Tiger Woods is...Jesus?

Betcha Jesus can win his Grand Slam all in the same year.

Joke shamelessly stolen from With Leather

You People....Need to Stop It

People....it's pronounced TARGET. TAR-GET! Not "Tar-jay"

It's not high class. It's barely a step up from Wal*Mart. Cut that shit out.

That was cute maybe 5 years ago. I'll admit taht it was kinda funny. I laughed. Now it's old. Cut it the fuck out.

People who pronounce it TARJAY, need to be punched in the puss. Seriously. I'm willing to do my part.

Tropic Thunder

Above is the fake commercial before the fake movie trailers that are apart of the real movie. I lost it when this came on. Totally set the tone for a very funny movie. Definetly recommended. Robert Downey Jr is hilarious and steals the show as a black man. I really need to watch it again with some close captioning on so I can catch everything he says.

I Miss These Commercials

Damn white people are funny, although the Indian (slurpee) really clinches it for me.

Is it racist to say that, cause I said he's the funniest.

Hope Starting to Fade

I was pretty excited to see this movie, and I probably still will, but thanks to Film Drunk and Valley Wag I've read AICN's (gawd I hate that site) a.k.a Harry Knowle's review of the new Star Wars The Clone Wars Movie. Usually I don't put much stock into this site and it's opinions, but this guy is a die hard SW lover, so if even he hates it, I'm starting to think twice about it. Lucasfilm made them take the negative review down.

Here it is. Careful, I'm not sure all of it is English.

Hi, Guys…
by TheRealMoriarty Aug 11th, 2008
04:25:38 AM
… to those asking, I’ll try a new tact in this thread. Harry took his CLONE WARS review down at the request of Lucasfilm, who have chosen to enforce an embargo on reviews on our site. There may, in fact, be other outlets who have reviews up currently. That is not something we can control. Harry will repost his same review when he is able to. I hope that explains it, but if you have further questions, I’ll try answer them. I’d really rather this talkback were about the great Bernie Brillstein, though.”

Here’s the original review:

“Harry hated THE CLONE WARS!

I’ve never hated a STAR WARS film before. I have weathered Jar Jar and any number of Ewoks. I survived Hayden and a wooden Portman. I even accepted Jake Lloyd. I handled all that because it felt like STAR WARS.

I can accept all of Lucas’ flaws, so long as at its heart it felt like Star Wars. I can deal with politics in Star Wars. I can deal with trade skirmishes in Star Wars. I can deal with musical numbers, breathing in the vacuum of space. Basically – so long as it feels like STAR WARS – I can watch any of it.

Was I looking forward to STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS (2008)?

******** A!

I was dying. After Genndy’s CLONE WARS – I felt that perhaps Lucas “got it” – and that this new animated series was taking a lead from Tartakovsky’s brilliant assembly of pieces. Genndy’s CLONE WARS got STAR WARS better than anyone has got it since Lawrence Kasdan and Irvin Kershner. Genndy took designs and characters that folks were dissatisfied with and made them cool. He did this by using and adapting the themes created by John Williams, the wholly perfect entity involved with Star Wars along with… the sound effects of Ben Burtt. He understood speed and motion – not just with action, but in editing. He understood classic film composition and iconography. And he knows what BADASS is.

The folks behind this STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS movie… you could tell, they looked at what Genndy did – but they didn’t understand any of it. There’s a ****load of battles and ***** going boom. There’s noise everywhere – fury everywhere… but none of it is directed. The music by Kevin Kiner is criminally bad. Why they didn’t employ Paul Dinletir and James Venable is beyond me. No, no – let’s hire the composer of WALKER, TEXAS RANGER. Ahem.

Now – I made excuses for this film as I was watching it. I don’t think you understand how much I love STAR WARS. Maybe you do, maybe you do too.

Before the movie started I was firing myself up to go out after the film and buy that new $200 Hasbro Millenium Falcon. I really wanted to go buy it, and I wanted this movie to empower my brain to go through with that. Instead, I found myself at home – putting on Genndy’s THE CLONE WARS – to try and rebuild my passion – so I can go get that new Falcon.

Instead – I’m thinking I’ll just be here at home enjoying this and that’ll be all I need.

Anyway – as I was watching the film, I was excusing the sloppy shots, the sloppy use of the Clone Troopers and Droids – undoing all the awesome work that Genndy had done – and the droids are silly again. The Clone Troopers are limp. And the Jedi – they’re at 25% power from the mind of Genndy. But I was accepting that. I figured that was Lucas dialing back so that the animated series wouldn’t overpower his features.

Then they introduced Baby Jabba aka Rotta the Huttlet aka Stinky. At the point of this character’s introduction – it officially became, the worst character in the history of STAR WARS. If you hate George Lucas cutsiepoo bull**** – oooooooh boy. You’re gonna have a field day of venting and hatred directed at this unbelievably ****ing awful little ****.

Oh – but wait… Little Stinky the Hutt isn’t the worst character in the history of STAR WARS… because Stinky got introduced earlier in the film. As much as I hated lil Stinky… I was weathering Stinky. I seriously was. But later there was a character of such immense **** – offensively bad. The character was so bad, so incredibly awful – that it was a slap to the face. It woke me out of my ****-accepting stupor and made me angry. SUDDENLY my “inner fanboy rage” was awoken.

As I watched this terrifyingly awful character named Ziro the Hutt. A seemingly female Hutt – with tattoos and make-up that sounds like a racist take on a Black New Orleans Crack-Dealing Whore. Because this Hutt speaks ENGLISH – and it is many times worse than I’m actually describing. This character was actually too much for me. So bad that every flaw I was looking past, was now a road sign to inadequacy and mediocrity. All of a sudden my brain realized that Asajj Ventress’ voice no longer was acceptable – and sure enough – the amazing Grey DeLisle, who originally voiced the character back in 2003 – had been replaced by a Nika Futterman – and that voice was missed. The character didn’t have that snarling menace anymore.

I realized that nothing in this animated film felt right. I felt time expanding. It seemed that the film was dragging – nevermind that lots of **** was firing all over the place – and stuff was going boom and things were being revealed. I just didn’t care because this wasn’t what I wanted.

I hated the score, the animation, the shots, the characters and most of all the retarded ******** idiot story.

I hated the film. HATED IT. REALLY HATED IT.

Does this mean the whole Star Wars Animated Series is doomed? No – but it isn’t a good sign. So much of this is awful because of the Hutt plotlines and character. I also feel that Dave Filoni must be a hack. His work here is sloppy – and depending on writers and directing talent – individual episodes may be better. This film was several episodes all strung together – my prayer is that the individual episodes will be both great and awful – and we’ll discover which talents are responsible for each.

That said – the audience did have light applause. My father liked it. My sister felt too much was going on. Me nephew really liked it. That said – Yoko was complaining right along with me. She thought it was **** too. I know Moriarty liked it. Wonder what Quint and Massawyrm thought.

****. I hated a STAR WARS. That ****ing sucks.”

Good Eats around TCU

Dutch's Hamburgers has a great burger and fries. I had the Blue Cheese burger, which can only be recommended if you really really really love Blue Cheese. I just really really like it, so it was too much for me. I hear the avocado burger is good, so that may be next on my plate.

On Monday, I had Fuzzy's Taco Shop, and they had some kick ass hot sauce that makes me want to go back today. Great tacos there. I think 3 are not enough though.

Buffalo Bros is also near Dutch's and I hear good things. That may be on tap for later this week.

Cheerleaders + Soccer = Win

Shamelessly stolen from With Leather

Slow Day at Work

Slow enough that I may update a bunch (and I do mean a lot) of these posts that I never finished.

For those that complain that I post to much....eat a phat one.

Swimming just got alot more exciting!

and there was no shark in the water.

and there was no shark in the water.

The French said they would smash the Americans in the race. They were the favorites and they had the World Rercord Holder swimming anchor.

The French World Record Holder was caught in the last 50M.



(This is suppossed to be a gif. Sure wish blogger would allow us to post those)



Watch it at the link above. It's actually pretty intense. The announcer pretty much writes the US off. The crowd knows better.

The race was soo fast, that the top 5 teams all broke the world record.

That's what you get for talking shit Frenchies!

Suck on that!

Micheal Phelps quest for 8 Golds stays alive, and this race was probably his biggest challenge. These relays are pretty intense and should keep you interested until Track starts in the 2nd week.

I Think It's Finally Dead

Well, I think it finally bit the dust. Coming back from Dutch's Hamburgers (over by TCU...really good burger and great fries! I should probably make a post). I was listening to it while I was eating. I get into the car, and try to change it to a podcast, when it freezes on me. Next thing I know, it's the iPod sad face.

FFFFFFFF

I haven't taken it to the Apple Store yet, but based on my last visit, it probably won't go very well.

I've started pricing iPod Classics. I'd ask for one for Christmas, but that's just an exercise in futility and I would just end up disappointed. I never get shit I really want for Christmas. Found some refurbs on the Apple Store. Might have to go that route, unless they can revive mine.

Or, I might try this first.

Anybody ever do this before? Looks like some fun.

Pineapple Express

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Above is the redband trailer.

Saw it yesterday. It's basically a stoner action (action? really? Yes really.) movie.

It ended up being a pretty funny movie. I think it would of been better stoned, but maybe that's for another viewing... or for somebody who actually smokes. Yea, that's it. :)

Actually, after seeing the movie, then seeing the ads for it on tv this weekend, I think this is the type of movie that will get better the more you see it. I was rolling at some, squash that, ALL of the ads on tv that I saw. Some really funny stuff.

I don't know where I would rank it in the list of Apatow movies. I've got to watch it again to get a better idea.

Stayin' Alive...

Died earlier today....comes back alive later that day. I should name it Timex...if I was lame, which I'm not, so I won't. No thanks to the assclowns at the Apple store.

I had made an appointment for later in the day (actually, it turns out I made if for tomorrow. Don't laugh, these hours I'm working have me all fucked up. Half the time I don't know what day it is. Seriously, I lose track. Anyways, I didn't find this out untill after I was there and he (the apple guy looks up my appointment) Anyways, I leave early to try and make the appointment (it was for 5:50...yea rush hour...but I had no choice as I'm leaving for PR tomorrow morning. Of course there's an f'in wreck, (firetrucks and all) on the exit from 360 to 114 (fuck if I can remember what that exit is right now). I go past it then try turning around...not sure if it saved some time, but I was in a hurry. As I'm driving, my friend is texting me about Steak & Ale closing shop (texting on an iphone is kinda hard...just thought I would throw that out there).

Get to the apple store and it's empty except for the employees (fucking oddest thing I've seen in a while, especially when you contrast that to the scene there a few weeks ago after the 3G Iphone came out. The place was packed. Anyway, go up to the Ipod Counter and start talking to the guy. After figuring out my apointment was for tomorrow it turns out he can help today (if you were paying attention, you'd remember that there was nobody else in the store) The thing is, he was fuck all helpfull. Didn't even try plugging it in to his computer or anything. There was some older chick/mom type at the ipod counter there "helping" him and all she could do is make some smart ass comments. No bitch, I didn't dance with my iPod like in the commercials. If you're not helping, then shut the fuck up!

The Apple Store at Willow Bend Mall was way better than these clowns. I think many of them were recently hired on to help with the iPhone rush. It just seemed like he didn't want any part of helping me and was only interested in selling me another one, trying to plug the Touch. I leave pissed.

Get home, plug it into the USB connection (usually I use the fire wire connection) and boom, it goes from iPod frown face to working, just like that. Fucking Awesome as it turns out.

I need to start saving for a new Classic. I can't keep wearing out the battery of my iPhone. I may actually need to make a call or something.

The Dark Knight on Imax

(Yes it's framed properly in the theater so you don't see all that goofy shit at the top and bottom)


It's a must see on Imax yesterday. Seriously, it was amazing. The bank heist, the 18 Wheeler chase, the Hong Kong scene, each establishing city shot. All look incredible. It's a little noticeable when it goes from Imax frame to regular framed movie, but nothing too jaring. If you're not looking for it, I think you'll be ok.

Oh and yes, the movie holds up the 2nd time you see it. It really is brilliant. Hell, I was actually able to get a better sense of what was going on. It doesn't seem as long as the first time I saw it (no, that's not what she said).

Watching Dexter - Random Thought

While watching episode 6 of season 1, I had to laugh at myself. I was rooting for the main character (and this isn't much of a spoiler) who is a serial killer to not get caught.

But it's a serial killer with a code. Which brings up some interesting moral questions.

As a quick aside...it turns out some of my favorite movies are movies where the director can get me rooting for the character where if you apply real world morals to him, he's considered the bad guy. Hello Godfather.

Anyways, I'm going through these pretty fast (2 seasons, 12 eps each). Great show. Michael C. Hall is great, but I knew that from 6 Feet Under. Great characters. I'm not sure how CBS is treating the show since they started airing it, but I would definetly recommend the Showtime version. Probably not as toned down in the nudity (yes there are tiddays...love spelling it that way) and blood/gore.

Anxiously awaiting Season 3. Jimmy Smits is joining the show. He's pretty solid.

Definetly recommend the show if you're looking for something to watch.

Wall*E

Finally got to watching Wall-E (which spelling do you like better: all together, space, hyphen or a asterisk?).

I really liked the movie. Thought it was cute as hell, and you could really feel the emotions of Wall E. Seems Pixar has hit another homerun, story is great. Animation is amazing. I'm sure it will make a ton of money at the box office, and even more with dvd/blu sales, but I don't think this one will be the megablockbuster (hello hyphen?), Best Pixar Evar! (hello hyperbole...and yes spelling is correct) many were predicting it to be. By "many" I mean the interweb nerds (yours truly not included) that like to do shit like that.

Cool video of a real life Wall-E (aka a robot version....settle down Joey).

Smallvile Done

Caught up with Season 7 this afternoon after a marathon session. Not sure why after I had quit it after season 4, but I was curious to see where the Lex storyline was going. Season 5 and 6 really turned the series around (not as many freak of the weeks, not soo much Lana pining). I really gotta say S7 was pretty entertaining. Clarks cousin, (Supergirl?) was a nice addition. Just so we're clear, by nice I mean hot. Lex's journey is pretty much complete. He's E-vil. Lana's role is kept to a bare minimum, and when she does show up, it's not as annoying. Chloe is as cute as ever, but in order to meet up with the Superman stories we know, she has to die right? Sadly, Lois is barely around and when she is, she doesn't show off her body. Bummer.

The whole Justice League characters are mentioned and refered to, but they don't get much screen time either, which is a bit of a shame. After seeing the great episode in Season 6 where they take down one of Lex's facilities, I had high hopes for this season.

After some debate, I'm starting Season 1 of Dexter.

The Dark Knight

Warning. Post may (WILL) have spoilers. Normally I wouldn't mind spoiling a movie for you, but this one rocks way too much to do that.

Go See it cause it's fucking awesome. Easily in contention for the best movie I'm going to see this year (I'm holding out hope for Quantum of Solace). Completely lives up to the hype that was built of the amazing Batman Begins. Delivers on every aspect. The action is awesome. Dialogue is witty. The story rocks. You know it's good when the movie is not over and your friend says "this may be the best movie I've ever seen". I'm not sure exactly where it would land on the list, but damn if it doesn't automatically make the 10 easily.

It's hard to decide what my favorite part was. Ledger is amazing. You can't even tell it's him under the makeup. He completely reinvents the Joker character and out does Jack Nicholson. Soo many great scenes with him in it. The pencil trick is fucking genius and is probably my favorite. The scene leaving the hospital (you'll know what I'm talking about) is very funny.

Bale is rock solid and is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors. He's great in everything he does. Looking forward to seeing him as John Connor. Michael Cain and Morgan Freeman are solid as expected. Gary Oldman is fantastic and Gordon...wish he would of had more screen time.

Aaron Eckhart will probably be overshadowed by Ledger and all the hype because of his death, but I think he really knocked it out of the park. I hope 2 Face isn't dead (I think they left an out at the end) but I think he will be. He's served his purpose in the movie.

I know Nolan isn't signed on for another movie, but I've read that he'll more than likely be back (with a bit of a pay raise I would think). I'm extremely anxious to see where they go with the 3rd one.

M. Night Shama.....'s The Happening

"I see dead people"

I won't spoil it for you (although I should), but the only reason you need to see this is if you like to see gruesome deaths (yea, like the lawnmower scene in the trailer), love Zoey D (damn she's got some great eyes)....or have a Marky Mark infatuation.

Even then, see the matinee. Don't pay full price for it.

I'm finally on board with the "M. Night has lost it" crowd.

P.S. I was giving him a chance even though I never saw Lady in the Water (it's on the DVR...just haven't been in the mood (no...that's not what she said)) He's lost his "goodwill" where you'd go see his movie based on his name/rep alone. In the past, he could get me interested in his movies based on name alone. 6th Sense was awesome, Unbreakable is pretty underrated. Signs is pretty good, but not as great as everyone makes it out to be. After that, the decent into mediocrity picks up, although I don't think that The Village wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be.