Because I Laugh EVERY TIME.

You Old Sailor You!!

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Borat -The first 4 minutes of his Movie

• My name is Borat. I like you. I like sex. It's niiice.
• .....and *assholes* Uzbekistan
• This a Urkin, the town rapist. Naughty naughty!
• ...a town mechanic and abortionist.
• My neighbor is a pain in my assholes. I get window, he get window. I get step, he must get step. I get clock radio...he cannot afford. Great success!

Hilarious. This movie should be greatness. Now I need to get my friends to see it.

2006 Texas A&M-Baylor football game highlights from Aggiesports.com

Video highlights for the 2006 Baylor game from Aggiesports.com. Texas A&M won the game 31-21 in Waco. Check out the speed of Mike Goodson. Damn that boy is fast. Earlier in the year, I told you he's getting close to breaking one. There it is. He puts the nail in the Baylor Coffin. Telocity, or Money Bennett, or whatever you want to call him, had a breakout game. He also had a long run for a touchdown after a short catch. Here's a little something I shamelessly stole from TexAgs Rivalries forum poster txsportsagent. I have a message for our beloved baptists in Waco. I would appreciate it if someone who goes to their site would link up and send them a message for me. I want to tell them that I admire them. I admire the fact that they are better fans than we are. I admire them because they've been through so much these past years. Chuck Reedy, Dave Roberts, Kevin Steele and now Guy Morriss. Why can't we get better coaches here, they ask? Why can't we get better recruits here? We pray, we pay, we cheer, we wear green, we travel back to Waco now and then, we fly our little flags with our little foam fingers. We care. We want to win. I want them to read this while the lingering defeat still stings in their loins. I have the answer to these questions. You can read my response and then go have a better life with the satisfaction of having this knowledge. The reason you can't have better coaches and better recruits is simple. You're Baylor. You're not the Aggies or the Whorns. You're not even close. You can't even compete with Tard. TCU? Forget it. I know you're all passionate. But you're Baylor. I know you think I'm just running smack, but really I'm not. You're Baylor. Say it. I'm Baylor. I'm Baylor. You're getting it. I'm Baylor. I beat A&M one year out of 20+. Not much better against the other Texas schools. I'm not going to get any better. Really. I'm not. I'm Baylor. I'm that kid that nobody picked to be on their team. But at that Fall Festival that year, I paid my $10 and dunked the captain of the football team in that dunking booth when he laughed at me for throwing like a girl. And it felt good. I'm Baylor. I got voted Most Likely to Succeed from the brass section of the band, and I made them proud by being accepted into a school lower ranked than the other Texas schools. But I paid more than the other kids did. I'm Baylor. I went to school in the worst city in this great state. They had to put a school here because otherwise, we'd all have to be Temple College fans. I'm Baylor. Notice how I didn't mention Koresh or people who died in your city. You shouldn't mention people who died in my bonfire. Ever again. Because these people are our brothers and sisters, and our pain for them is real. But you won't do that anymore because now you know who you are. You're not getting any better. You'll never be worth mentioning on ESPN except when you take your annual asskicking by your fellow Texas schools you piggybacked into this great conference (our most sincere apologies to TCU). You're Baylor. And you'll be watching your daddies during the bowl season. Decorate your trees and trim them with the green and gold. Spend Christmas with nighttime dreams of candy canes, Jolly St. Nick and an upset at Kyle or against Texas next year. And then wake up. Take a whizz. Comb your hair. Kiss your kids. And then remember what I told you. You're Baylor.

Scrubs has a Return Date!!!

"Let me go ahead and share alittle something special with you that I like to call Perry's perspective: One, if someone is standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and can't decide what they want in the half hour it took to get to the register then I should be allowed to kill them; Two, I am fairly sure that if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called bring back the porn; Three, and most importantly of all, the only way to be respected as a doctor and a man is to be an island, you are born alone, you damn sure die alone. Isn't that right Spike? The point is, and you might want to jot this down, only the weak need help"

Ha! As usual, there's a You Tube video of this rant. Here's the link until I can embed.

"But Thomas, why the random Scrubs Post? "

Futon Critic

Scrubs returns to NBC on November 30. That's a Thursday!
NBC is bringing back the 2 hour comedy block going with My Name is Earl, The Office, Scrubs and 30 Rock. Pretty solid comedy block if you ask me.

Stripper Face Plant

The title says it all. I'll embed the video when I get home. Until then, click the link.

The Writing on the Stall

The Writing on the Stall

I know I do this. When I go to a public restroom, and it doesn't matter if I stand or sit. I always end up reading what people have written. Sometimes, I stay longer than necessary just to read it all. Most of the time, the writing isn't very good. You get the usual "Call this number for a good time". "You mom...blah blah blah." " F You, suck this"...whatever. Occasionally, you get some gems that make you laugh.

• Those who write on bathroom walls
  Roll their sheit in little balls
  Those who read these words of wit
  Eath those little balls of chit.

• Why are you staring at the wall.... the joke is in your hand

If you need some laughs, take a few minutes and read through the site.

24 Season 6 Trailer!!!!

LINKY - FUCK YEA!

Suicide terrorist attacks in American cities, similar to how they do it in the Middle East? Wayne Palmer as President? Jack having to sacrifice himself in order to stop the attacks? Yea right! Don't see that happening.

I can't fucking wait! January can't come soon enough.

Live Camera at African Water Hole

Here's the link. Make sure you have your sound up.

Here's a little info from the website in regards to the location of the camera.

Nkorho Pan is a natural water hole in the prestigious Sabi Sands Private Game
Reserve, in South Africa. Nkorho pan is named after Nkorho bush Lodge which gets it name from the
Shangaan derivative for the call of the yellow-billed hornbill, a common and
unusual looking bird from this area.

Pretty cool. I've got jungle sounds in my office right now. As soon as I hear anything else, I'll tab back over to it.

Here, I just saved you from having to go buy Allure.

Sex as described by Eric Cartman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbPqrvfi94Y

(click the link until I can get home and embed)

Listening to A&M Games on the Radio = NOT FUN

As commented by Dave South:

• "There's the snap thie kick is up...........AND IT'S BLOCKED!!!!! AGGIES WIN!!!!!"

Above, Red Bryant blocks the extra point in overtime to give the Aggies the win, 34-33 in OT.

Here's a highlight reel of the game. (I'll embed the link from Yout Tube later). See the clip and note the 1 handed catch by the JTRAIN. That's a huge play on 4th and 19, in the 4th quarter, with less than 3 minutes left. We don't get that 1st down, the game is essentially over.

Here's a few more You Tube videos:

The Legion of Doom CEO, Martellus Bennett scores a TD, his first of the year.

JTRAIN breaking through for 1 TD.

Here's the game tying touchdown, with :03 left in the game.

Now I know I'm not the only person complaining about Dave South, our play by play announcer for all Texas A&M games. The man, while his suppored is appreciated, has to go. Seriously. He has no idea what's going on. Here are some common quotes heard during his broadcast.

• "INT by Gorrer.....touchback will give the Aggies the ball at the 30." (The 30?!?!?)
• "McGee play action, Goodson caught for a 4 yard loss." (I guess everytime it's a option where we don't give it to the dive man, it's a playaction?)
• "Aggies snap the ball at the 15, line of scrimmage is the 10."
• "and he's a half yard short of 2nd down."
• "He's at the 50..45..40..35..30.25..20.15..10..5..Touchback..Touchdown."

That's just a sample of the goodness that is Dave South. I swear I had a heart attack each time we would kick an extra point.

• "Here's the snap. The hold. The kick is up, and it is ...(wait for it)...(keep waiting for it)....(seriously, keep waiting)...... good."

There is no need to drag it out like that. None. Check out Texags for the past few days, and you'll see I'm not alone. We all love his enthusiasm for the Ags, but Good Lord, help us out some will ya?

Anyway, Baylor is up this week, and I'm really going to try and make the this game. It seems Baylor is taking it's cue from the tcehtards in terms of class. This is one of the posts from Baylorfans. Un-be-fucking-lievable:

Originally Posted by seth99992 things:

--throwing a bunch of numbers at me won't
make anyone more right

----and if an aggie is anywhere on this thread arguing
that their backs are somehow better than cornish, then that's just downight
stupid.....their backs are probably a little better than our backs (and not by
much) but to say they are better than cornish. there's a reason a&m is full
of dumbasses. or maybe there is no reason.

I don't think that school realizes how much people actually hate them. I mean, if i was in the military and we were in Iraq or somewhere, I'd probably open up friendly fire on an aggie in the trenches, because i'm sure he'd be doing something stupid to deserve being shot.

God I hope we come out and just run all overthem. I've never really hated Baylor, hell I barely give them a second thought. Shit like that post, does piss me off.

Interview With the Producers of LOST

Here's the transcript of the ABC Nightline interview with LOST producers, Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof. Creator J.J. Abrams is also in the interview. It's a great read and I highly recommend it.

Also, if you want more information on LOST, check out the podcast that the producers Carlton and Damon put out each week. The podcast is usally released pretty quickly after the episode airs. It's an entertaing 30 minutes, where the producers have fun with the viewers (or should I say listeners)are a bit sarcastic but they are also pretty informative and help clear up some confusion that may have occured in the episde. They don't give away any spoilers though.

The FIU vs Miami Brawl

As briefly mentioned in yesterday's post, here's the video of the brawl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JWeE9KqZjQ
(I'll embed the video when I get home. For some reason I can't copy the embed link in Explorer)
Edit: There we go




Lamar Thomas is a former Miami reciever and is currently a color analyst. When I say currently, I'm talking about at the time of the game. Based on his comments, starting about halfway through the video, he's a former color analyst. Pretty funny actually. He talks pretty big.

The bench-clearing brawl resulted in 31 suspensions between the two schools.

The result of the brawl?

• Thomas is fired.
• Coker is safe for now. (I personally expect changes at the end of the season)
• 12 Miami players suspended for 1 game.
• Sophomore safety Anthony Reddick (Miami) was suspended indefinitely (He's the one you see swinging his helmet)
• The ACC and Miami (4-2) suspended Reddick, Carlos Armour, Chris Barney, James Bryant, Tyrone Byrd, DajLeon Farr, Ryan Hill, Bruce Johnson, Charlie Jones, Brandon Meriweather, Brian Monroe, Derrick Morse and Randy Phillips.
• Chris Smith and Marshall McDuffie Jr., (FIU) dismissed, but remain on scholarship.
• 16 FIU players placed on probation indefinetly.
• Sun Belt Conference and FIU (0-7) suspended Michael Alls, Scott Bryant, Roland Clark, Michael Dominquez, John Ellis, Cory Fleming, Reginald Jones, Robert Mitchell, Quintin Newman, Luis Pena, Jarvis Penerton, Julian Reams, Lionell Singleton, Samuel Smith, Mannie Wellington and Chandler Williams.

How To Mess With Telemarketers

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

Hilarious!
I'll definetly have to keep that one handy!

Lazy Sunday = Movies

Rained all day Sunday. What do you do on rainy days? You either sleep in all day (did that) and watch movies (did that too).

Started the day with Red Eye. A Wes Craven movie featuring Rachel McAdams (yummy) and Cillian Murphy (damn he looks E-vil). Decent movie, nothing great though. Not real scary or anything, like I would expect out of Wes Craven. Murphy was pretty creepy looking. He plays a good bad guy. (I also liked him in Batman Begins).

The second movie in my double header was The Chronicles of Narnia :The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I've been wanting to watch this one forever, and I finally got to it. After numerous recordings and deletings to make room on my DVR, I finally had the space on the hard drive and the time to watch it. I would of bought the dvd blind, but I never saw it dip below 30 bucks.

Anyway, I really thought this was a well done movie. It was a bit long in time, but you know what, I would of watched a longer version. I really enjoyed it and am glad to hear it did well at the box office. That means they are making more movies out of the Narnia series. I did think the movie, while long, spent too much time getting into Narnia. Once they were in Narnia, the movie felt too short. I understand that they had to set up the movie, and in essence, the series. Still, a minor complaint.

I liked that they basically had no name actors in it (or at least one's I didn't recognize) other than the Witch, and even then it wasn't who I thought it was. I think that's a good idea that you're not pointing out actors in movies, it takes away from the movie.

Also, I thought Aslan looked Fantastic. They did an outstanding job on him. I'm not sure who did the digital work, but it was a quality job, which leads me to believe it was Wingnut. I probably won't buy this one on DVD unless I see it cheap, but I'll probably pick it up when I make the jump to HD-DVD or Blu Ray.

Stephen F'in McGee, The JTRAIN, and Mike Goodies

I had to work on Saturday, so starting about 2:30, I stopped checking TexAgs and any other college football site in order to avoid being spoiled. I had the game on my DVR. From 2:30 to about 7, when I finally got home, I had to find other websites to spend the time. I almost screwed up once. I went to the website about 6, by habit, and luckily I moved on before reading anything on the site. I made it hope blissfully ignorant of any happenings.

Now this was a way to start the game. Well sort of. This play (2nd of the game) could of been a disaster, but the hustle play of Jordan Peterson (Freshman by the way) saved the day. It was a heads up play by him and I think this may be the play of the year. The kid will be a good one. Scratch that, he's going to be a great one. Mizzou scores on this, the game goes their way. As it is, I think this set the tempo for us.

This basically put the game away for us.

Obviously a photoshop (although he did complete a 12 yd pass to himself this game), but many Aggie faithful feel the same way. If we can eat the clock like we did this past weekend, and give them a healthy dose of the JTRAIN, we've got a good chance to win every single ball game. We could also just as easily lose every game. We were 26 seconds away from being 7-0. We're also about 2 minutes away from being 4-3. It can go either way just as easily, but now I feel pretty confident with #7 leading us. He's a gamer, and he's learning how to win. The future looks bright with reshirt sophomore McGee leading the way.

Tech got beat down by CU, which makes our loss to them even more frustrating. They've lost 2 in a row since their "Superbowl" win against us. Andrian Peterson is gone for the year with a broken collar bone. That gives us an even better chance against ou. The cubbiesput up 31 on the whorns, which begs the question: Is the tu defense that suspect, or is bu actually that good?

Oh, and I saw the highlights of the brawl between Miami and FIU. I think Coker has completely lost that team and he needs to suspend a whole lot of people on tha tteam. That was disgraceful.

Goodbye Marissa Miller. Hello Cobie Smulders.

One last time....say goodbye.

Seriously now, you have to go.

I said, "Good Day!"

Yesterday at the State Fair...

I think I lost a year of my life. Hell, if I only lost a year of my life, I'd consider myself lucky. I'm serious. People shouldn't be allowed to do what we did. I'm still feeling the affects of it this morning at work (yes I'm at work on Saturday).
Let's see, what did I consume:

STATE FAIR OF TEXAS

• 4 Fina Station (on Industrial) Al Pastor Tacos
• 1 Jalapenio and Cheese Corny Dog
• 1 Beer
• 1 Beer (C)
• Fried Oreos (C)
• Fried Pralines (which are excellent, by the way)(C)
• 1 Corn on the Cob
• 1 Funnel Cake (C)
• 1 Fresh Twisted Pretzel (C)
• 1 Water Bottle
• 1 Spiral Chips (C)
• 1 Turkey Leg (the best and biggest leg I've ever seen)(C)
• Fried Coke (C)
• Fried Peanut Butter and Jelly with Banana (C)

"But Thomas, what's with all the community food?". It's the only way we could try everything we wanted to. Way to much food as it was.
We finished the day off at the Ferris Wheel. The people I was with, had never ridden one, so we went. We had just enough tickets too.
Later on, I might be able to add some pictures. Depends if they get put up on facebook by the person that took them. (Like how I was ambigous on that one, huh?)

So after a few hours of digesting on the couch, we (there was 4 of us going) finish the day off the only way we know how.

HOOTERS:

• 50 Daytona Wings
• 20 Buffalo Shrimp
• 1 order Carrott Sticks
• 1 order Celery Sticks
• 2 Orders of Fries
• 2 Pitchers of Beer.

Bleh. I couldn't eat breakfast the next morning. It wasn't until well passed lunch time the next day that I was hungry. Of course, I had to top it off right.

FREEBIRDS!
Regular on Cayenne

• Rice
• Monterray Cheese
• Steak
• Grilled Veggies
• Roasted Garlic
• Lime Juice and Hot Sauce
• Pico
• Tomatoes
• Cilantro
• Lettuce
• Cheese

Whew baby that was good. Satisfaction.

I ask that you pray for me that I get into heaven, despite the gluttony.

Grindhouse Trailer is Up

This is the new movie from Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. I believe it's due out early next year. Here's a one word review of the trailer.

AWESOME-AWESOME-AWESOME-GOD-DAMN-THAT-WAS-FUCKING-AWESOME!

How Many Of Me?

Guess I'm not soo unique. :(

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 975 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

975 people with my full name? Well actually, I guess it's just my first and last name. Wonder what the stats would be if I included my middle name. Bah! I'm sure this thing is pinpoint accurate right? They also don't tell you how many of those are as stunning as I am.