College Football

Cause I can't wait until tomorrow's games, first a joke.

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she
is a Texas Tech fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they
are Texas Tech fans too.

Not really knowing what a Texas Tech fan was, but
wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.

There is, however, one exception.
Susie has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be
different. "Because I'm not a Texas Tech fan" she reports.

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm a TEXAS A&M fan" boasts the little girl.

The teacher asks Susie why she was a TEXAS A&M fan.

"Well, my Dad and Mom are Aggie fans, so I'm an Aggie
fan too" she responds.

"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your
mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. "What would you be then?"
the teacher asks..

Susie smiles and says, "Then I'd be a Texas Tech fan."

HAHA! tceh sucks!


Now for some Coaches quotes that you may or may not have seen before.

"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't have any."
Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.

"Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas."
Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.

"After you retire, there's only one big event left....and I ain't ready for that."
Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it."
Lou Holtz / Arkansas

"When you win, nothing hurts."
Joe Namath / Alabama

"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."
Lou Holtz / Arkansas

"If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, "Roll, tide, roll!"
Bear Bryant / Alabama

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall."
Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
Woody Hayes / Ohio State

"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation."
Bob Devaney / Nebraska

"In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant."
Wally Butts / Georgia

"You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life."
Paul Dietzel / LSU

"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class."
Bear Bryant / Alabama

When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world.
"No, but you can see it from here."
Lou Holtz / Arkansas

"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game."
Bear Bryant / Alabama

"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the goal line."
Matty Bell / SMU

"Lads,you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died."
Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's."
Alex Karras / Iowa

"My advice to defensive players:Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor."
Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades."
Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

"Always remember..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David."
Shug Jordan / Auburn

"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces."
Darrell Royal / Texas

"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"They whipped us like a tied up goat."
Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me and he said: "Well,Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't any good."
Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel."
Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"Football is not a contact sport-it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport."
Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team:
"All those who need showers, take them."
John McKay / USC

"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education."
Murray Warmath / Minnesota

"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Oh,we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon."
Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches."
Darrell Royal / Texas

"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."
John McKay / USC

"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad ."
Darrell Royal / University of Texas

"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football"
John Heisman